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Many a times I get questions from on how to identify infidelity in a married woman.

Some unmarried men wanted to know how to know about adulterer and cruel women beforehand.

Whereas cruelty and adultery or infidelity are two different things and the signs are also different but some of the signs can be matched.

To identify a cheating wife one needs to have good eyes and ears and a sixth sense that normally women claim to have.

My wife loves me a lot and does all as a wife and a mother. When I confronted her with the call records, she said he is just a friend and they just chat casual things about their daily affairs. I dont understand what kind of discussion friends could have every day sending each other an average of 10-15 messages until late in the night. If you trust your wife and she tells you there is nothing going on then I wouldn't worry. Be cool, act cool; be in control of the only thing you can control? She later said at that point she was so smitten she was ready to give up her job.

Also, my wife never informed me until i found out myself. If the both have children wouldn't it make sense to talk about the day when all the kids are in bed and it the end of the day winding down for the day? It going to the extent that she had over 30 hours of calls to his country in the middle of the day, using her desk phone! Thing is I never checked her work cell because who knew this high ranking medical professional wife of mine would use work assets.

The problem that I have is getting him off my head.

Every time I close my eyes I see him; sometimes I even imagine him when I am having sex with my husband.

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For example, today’s youth are open to live-in relations and break up.

For many men, this can happen several times a day because this is autopilot behaviour for the male brain.

They don't think it's a big deal and they can't understand why women find it so threatening - until the tables are turned.

However if it really bothering you sit down and tell her how you feel. If that was an agreement that they wouldnt message each other during these days, why was it? Don't be nasty, angry or even cold - Just pull yourself back. Not a moody, needy, pathetic individual but a self assured individual secure in the knowledge that they have value. All questions about the marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may not be for quite a while). I believe that all of their encounters were purely emotional until last month when they ran off into hiding together.

Ask what they talk about and if you still feel uneasy ask her to see her texts with him just so you feel at ease. About chatting during early hours, she says he sometimes was travelling and was messaging. Please advise, your comments would really be appreciated and surely will be helpful. You need to stop this now, try Lee Baucom's save you marriage stuff.

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