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You see now how handsome he is, his pretty wife and awesome dog.You remember liking talking to him a lot in school, but he never asked you out, and you never paid him much attention in that department. Our gut knows better, our friends warn us and our head says no, but somehow, one way or another, we always end up falling for the same old jerks.You would think that experience would make us smarter, but no—when it comes to these infamous jackasses, our judgment jumps ship, leaving us blind.Screwed-up people are not more interesting than people with their heads together. For whatever reason, there are a surprising number of women who are attracted to guys who can’t commit, who can’t relate, who can’t get along with anyone, who can’t tell the truth… Books in tall stacks, Chinese food containers in the corners, DVDs in and out of boxes scattered around the TV… And while you wouldn’t really want to live there, there might be some part of you that would look around and grudgingly admit, “There’s a lot going on here.” Now, imagine the same apartment, once somebody has managed to get it cleaned up. You’re just in the presence of a person who knows how to clean up after himself.

Yet, you must always keep your boundaries strong and well-built, like a wall, that protects you from unacceptable treatment.So before you hand over all of your love/time/energy/sexytime skills/commitment/secrets to one person, make sure you’re on the same page and giving equal value to the relationship. You give third, fourth, and fifth chances to the dissappointing and disrespectful.Paulo Cohelo once said, “If it happens once, it may never happen again.blame the “hanging out” culture or label an entire gender “dogs,” but we both know that's a cop-out.Since no one is perfect and we could all use a bit of polishing, let's put it out there and admit that it's a good thing to look at the behavior that might be holding us back from finding the happy, healthy relationship we all want and deserve.

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